HAVE YOU LOST A PET?
MEET ALLISON JONES
PET DETECTIVE, SNAKE WHISPERER
PET DETECTIVE, SNAKE WHISPERER
Allison Jones has spent her life around reptiles, and frankly, she prefers them to most people. She doesn't just find snakes; she understands their "vibes." While the rest of the world sees a predator, Allison sees a misunderstood explorer who’s probably just looking for a warm dust bunny to nap on. While you’re standing on a chair with a flashlight, we’re ready to get down on the floor and talk business.
PET DETECTIVE, SNAKE WHISPERER
PET DETECTIVE, SNAKE WHISPERER
PET DETECTIVE, SNAKE WHISPERER
Your Snake is Playing Hide-and-Seek. We’re Playing to Win.
Let’s be honest: when a snake goes missing, the neighbors start packing their bags and your mother-in-law refuses to visit. But at Snakes Don't Scare Me, we know your "danger noodle" is actually a "sweetheart noodle" who just took a wrong turn at the radiator.
SNIFFING OUT THE TRUTH
PET DETECTIVE, SNAKE WHISPERER
SNIFFING OUT THE TRUTH
Allison has a sixth sense for snake logic. She knows exactly which crawl space, shoe box, or dishwasher motor looks like a 5-star resort to a displaced python.
NO JUDGEMENT:
Did you leave the lid unlatched? It happens. Allison isn't here to lecture you; she’s here to find your scaly friend and restore peace to your household.
SNIFFING OUT THE TRUTH
Keep Your Cool (Even If Your Pet Is Cold-Blooded)!
The "Oh Sss-hit, Where’s My Snake?" FAQ
Don't Panic!
Most lost snakes are found within 10 feet of their enclosure, usually judging you from a dark corner.
Here are the answers to the questions you’re currently frantically Googling.
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- Q: Is he in the toilet?
A: Probably not. Contrary to every 90s horror movie, snakes don’t actually enjoy hanging out in plumbing. It’s cold and smells like... well, you know. Unless you’re housing an Anaconda in a penthouse, the "Toilet Terror" is mostly an urban legend. (But hey, it wouldn’t hurt to keep the lid down just so you can sleep tonight.)
- Q: Did he leave the house to start a new life?
A: Highly unlikely. Your snake is a fan of the "all-inclusive resort" lifestyle you provide. To them, the outdoors is full of hawks, cars, and confusing weather. They aren’t looking for freedom; they’re looking for a warm spot that smells like a mouse. They are almost certainly still in your house, likely in a place that will require you to move a very heavy piece of furniture.
- Q: Can I lure him out with a trail of breadcrumbs?
A: No. He is a snake, not a German fairytale protagonist. However, a "scent trail" works! Thaw out a frozen feeder (the "stinky" ones work best) and place it near a heat source. It’s the snake equivalent of wafting the smell of fresh bacon through a teenager’s bedroom.
- Q: Should I put flour on the floor like a Pinterest detective?
A: Yes! This is actually a pro tip. Sprinkle a light dusting of flour or cornstarch across doorways. If your snake decides to go for a midnight stroll, he’ll leave a "slither-print." It won’t tell you where he is, but it will tell you where he was, which is better than nothing!
- Q: I heard a noise in the walls. Is that him?
A: Unless you own a 15-foot Reticulated Python, snakes are surprisingly stealthy. If you hear loud thumping, that’s probably a ghost or a very confused raccoon. Snakes move like ninjas. If you do hear a faint scritch-scratch, check behind your baseboards or inside your kitchen cabinets.
- Q: How long can he survive out there?
A: Snakes are the champions of "doing nothing." Depending on the species, they can go weeks (or even months) without a meal. The real clock is the temperature. If your house stays warm, he’s just on a staycation. If it’s chilly, he’s probably wrapped around your internet router or the back of your fridge because it's the toastiest spot in the house.
- Q: When do I give up and call Allison?
A: Usually right after you’ve spent three hours talking to your dresser and crying. If you’ve checked the "obvious" spots (shoes, laundry baskets, behind the books) and still see nothing, it’s time to bring in the professional nose.
Pro Tip: Stop moving everything! If you flip the whole house upside down at once, you might actually scare him into a deeper hiding spot.
Still seeing an empty tank?
CALL ALLISON TO SNIFF ‘EM OUT